D&D Legacy

The Nazca Files

Cloud here.

A lot’s happened in the last week or two. So I thought i’d best write it down so I could compose a rap or something. I have recently been playing the crowds and the guards of the city of Zerzura.

Not long ago, circumstance caused myself and three other adventurers to bond in a Dino-emergency. Seriously. Like, when heck is it not an emergency circumstance that bonds an adventuring party? Trouble at the old keep. Oooh. Help. They took my baby. Oh no! Goblins attacking bla, bla, bla.

I hail originally from the Nazca, and as such have a good eye for the herbs if you know what I mean. Electrum is the only coin I receive for trafficking by the way if you’re interested in some Smudge, Stick, Soup or Smash. Electrum is my drug money. It’s under the Scry-dar, it’s nice and shiny and pretty and it’s, well, like me: Exotic and cool.

So I’m currently spending time with these adventurers that are mildly more interesting than playing my fiddle on stage for a coin or two. One is a noble with a stick up his butt about justice and more love for his horse than is probably natural. One is a blue devil girl from the guilds (tryin’ to out-zotic me for sure) who carries a Boom-Stick that’s so loud It hurts my freekin’ cat ears. A lot. From time to time we have also had this big dude that fights with whatever is at hand really. They keep me curious for now. Even in the last few days we have:

• Tracked down a street gang in a mega slum hive sector
• Stopped an attempt to poison the water supply
• Performed naval operations along the Swift. (A weird rapid river-sea system)
• Invaded an island (poorly and without flair, it hasta’ be said)
• Boarded a ship (and then repelled boarders)
• Acquired an ex warship (I got the warmest room)
• Woken up in a bloody room with several decimated bodies all around us. (Prestidigitation time)
• Overseen an Arena first-blood-only duel (that ended in a death)
• Worked out a mystery or three
• Become wanted by the illusion police (who reside on a street that doesn’t exist)
• And, had a Bard-off with a long dead/recently arisen Freddy Mercury. (We rocked him. Don’t judge me. You were all thinkin’ it. We are the Ch/The Show Must…yada, yada, yada, we did em all…..Well I did)

Perhaps a load more happened too but I need my catnaps to recover my inspiration so probably missed it.

Ps. If I’m ever stickin’ my tongue out at you, it’s not personal. I just forgot.

Get back to you in a while unless these losers start to bore me. Or sooner if you’re interested in spending a little Electrum…

Cloud – of the Rumbling River Clan.

AKA Jessabelle Diddle – Jay Dizzle – J.D. – The Fiddler with Folly – Strums – The Dizzler – Sourpuss – Furry Spice


I guess it doesn’t matter how much the flying ruin is worth because everybody else wants to keep it and fix the place up. I just have a bad feeling about it. Whenever I sleep there I’m always worried it’s going to fall out of the sky. Or get attacked by dragons or something. Not to mention I’d rather sleep in a bed in a warm inn and some company than in a tent. I guess if they do fix it up it might not be too bad. But I still kind of hope somebody offers to buy me out.
But I guess I’ll worry about that later. We left Hobrir and headed towards a town called Teraton’s Spring to try and get some better prices for our stuff. It kind of worked out. The town itself was a bit poorer then we expected. And full of Las Elves so I wasn’t so popular. But that also meant I got plenty of people happy to bet against me in one of the fighting dens. I came out of that pretty well but then spent it all on partying but what else is money for. Made a couple of new friends too.
We met a homeless Dwarf there called Orek who’d found some lost mine. He’d taken a look inside planning to stake a claim but got attacked by some dwarf ghost thing and ran for it. Spotted a delvers mark on one of us and asked us to help clear the mine out in exchange for equal shares of whatever we found there. Given we needed the money and had nothing better to do it seemed worth a look at least. We could always run if things went bad.
Saw our first dwarf ghosts once we’d got inside the living area. I’d never heard this before but turns out that dwarfs have some kind of curse. I mean they all like gold right? But turns out if they get too greedy for it then they turn into these weird chalky ghosts. That’s Glitterdoom.
So we fought then for a bit. Tavas got clawed a few times which did something nasty to her. Drying her out like the desert bleaching bones or something. Which meant I had to take the lead cos they hadn’t laid a finger on me. There were a few more ghosts in there and this horrible maggot man thing but nothing we couldn’t handle – oh except for those ghosts hiding behind a locked door and shooting crossbows at us. But we just pushed a table over the arrow holes and left them to it.
Turns out the Glitterdoom was caused probably by their priest who’d changed his god from I guess a nice one to a god of greed and misers. And he was still alive in the actual mine workings itself along with bunch of grubs that followed him round. That was too close for me. The grubs were pretty dangerous and the priest kept casting spells on us. But he wasn’t that good at it and after I rushed him Tavas managed to shoot him down. We had to collapse the mine to stop loads more of those grub things getting us and that was it.
But we actually got some money! We found some gold nuggets along with some rocks that Orek said had more gold in them that we could get out. But that we’d either have to pay somebody or find him some tools. And he had a plan for that. As well as the mine which was now pretty useless with all those grubs inside he’d been looking for directions to another lost Dwarf place called Steelhand Hall and thought he’d found it. And he could get the gold out there if we wanted to help him some more.
So we’re on our way now to a city I’ve not heard of called Vokov. Orek is going to try and recruit a bunch more dwarfs to help him reclaim the hall as his home which will take a while and then I guess we’ll be helping him for a bit. But right now I’m looking forwards to being in a big city with some money to spend and indulging myself a little.

Hard travelling heroes

My Adventures in Visnoth

I’ve been lucky since I got out of Shallal. I hooked up with a bunch of travelling entertainers in the Five Fingers and I’ve stuck with them ever since. I’m still getting used to the cold and the food and having to do my hair myself but it’s a pretty nice life. We’re just travelling around and putting on shows. Singing, dancing and making some friendly fighting. It’s fun. I don’t have to kill anybody, nobody’s trying to kill me and I can sleep with who I like.
Biggest change was that I got a Delver’s mark. I think it’s two scorpions and I can’t tell if they’re fighting or fucking or maybe a bit of both. I’ve been keeping it covered up for now. Not sure what I think about it. I guess things might get a little bit more dangerous. Hopefully not before I make my fortune. There’s a few of us in the troupe with them now.

Dhakiyah Nur Vildan. That’s me. Sexy, dangerous, life of the party.

Perrin. He’ll tell you he’s a travelling minstrel but he’s really just a big kid. Out exploring the world and seeing how many of the stories he heard when he was young are actually true. It’s kind of sweet. I like him.

Oli-Pekka. He’s a Linniatus wizard. Into fortune-telling and astrology. He seems like the nicest wizard I’ve met but I’m not taking any chances and keeping my distance. He does also insist that the correct way to call him is ‘Pekka’. Does that mean the same thing here?

Viola. She’s quiet. She’s some kind of spellcaster I think, though her magic is weird. There’s no words or lights or anything. She’s okay. I think she just needs to get a bit more experience of the world to really liven up.

Tavas. She’s an elf. Does all the things you expect – shoots a bow, likes forests and animals. She’s mostly sad though. Her home was burned down by snake people and she’s got these nasty burns on her face. Think her life has been fucked worse than mine.

The Flying Castle of Kaligby

We were in Hobrir. It’d be a boring little place but has this Paladin school in it which means a lot more fit young men and women walking around. Met up with a few of them after we put on the show who were eager to spend a bit more time with a scantily clad exotic lady. Broke even at cards before going to be bed with a guy who probably isn’t fit to be a paladin after that.
Perrin had heard rumours about Eaglardi – some kind of bird people – that were supposed to just be stories. So we’d come to take a look. The locals were also talking about a castle floating in the clouds which seems like a sensible place for bird people to live. Maybe this time we’d actually find something. But I had nothing better to do.
I met them in the morning checking out the local merchants for supplies. Viola had a classic bit of Delver’s Luck. She found a fancy antique shield hidden in all the shitty stuff in the second-hand armour place. Then she found an old book hidden in the lining. Of course she opened it and then an Orc appeared and tried to kill her. Probably would have done too if we hadn’t been there to help. Next time let the wizard open the magic book I say.
Anyway, we set off to look for weird stuff and we actually found it. A castle in the clouds. Cost me a gold piece. Maybe Perrin was on to something this time. There were even ropes reaching to the ground we could use to climb up.
More Delver’s Luck. When we got up close the castle was wrecked. And those Eaglardi decided to appear as well and weren’t friendly. We ended up having to run for cover under the castle gate and the others got pretty badly cut up by divebombing attackers. They looked a lot more like buzzards than eagles despite the name. Once we got inside Perrin disappeared with some kind of magic but the same thing seemed to keep the Eaglardi out at least.
So now we were stuck. Nobody felt like going back outside right now so we started exploring the castle ruins. Viola got distracted by a fountain with a whirlwind instead of water and what looked like little air elementals dancing round it and went off to take a closer look by herself. Turns out they weren’t friendly either and knocked her on her ass so we had to rescue her again.
The only bit of the castle that we could get into was the main building so we headed there next after a bit of a rest. That was then the really weird magic crap started. The sky changed and the castle was all fixed up like a storybook one. There was even a snooty old elf butler to greet us and look down his nose at me. Even when I was trying to be polite. Prick. But he took us in to meet his boss, Kaligby.
He turned out to be a really really old elf wizard. Which explains a lot about this whole mess. Basically he’d made this flying castle just because he could. And as soon as he’d taken to the air the Eaglardi had started attacking him and hadn’t stopped. So he’d done some kind of time magic to try and fix things and got us into the mess we were now in. So could we please help and he’d give us a powerful artefact in thanks. Seemed liked pretty normal arrogant wizard stuff to me but we didn’t exactly have much choice so back to exploring the castle. Which now kept changing.
I mean I know it’s something to do with travelling in time, right? But I don’t really want to think about how that works so I’m basically going to ignore all of that and just explain things as they were. Without much help from Kaligby we just wandered around the castle. In the ruined bit we did find another bunch of adventurers who’d got there ahead of us. Guess they’d missed Kaligby but they had looted the cellars and found some nice stuff. Neither of us really wanted a fight so we made a deal with their boss Tamara where we could check their stuff for weird magical stuff and pay for it. But other than some art bits they just had some copper and some old Eaglardi skeleton so we left them to it.
Then we found a party. I mean a real party. A masquerade ball. With food and wine and dancing. Kaligby was there too looking young. There were even spare masks at the entrance. It would have been rude not to join in.
I went straight for the richest looking group and brazened my way straight in figuring they’d have the best cakes and drinks. Plus I’ve had plenty of experience schmoozing through crowds of older guys so it made sense. I did meet Missy Fantastico and I’m pretty sure she figured me out but liked me enough to not call the guards.
I guess everybody else was being very serious and professional while I made the most of the party. I mean I did ask about the Eaglardi a couple of times but nobody knew anything. Perrin had reappeared and was talking to some halfling jesters, Tavas had found another elf to hang out with and Viola looked like she was serving drinks? She really needs to loosen up.
But they must have been doing something sneaky because partway through Viola sidled up to me and pointed out an assassin here for Kaligby. She then ran off to the front of the room and started drawing loads of attention to herself along with Perrin. I was a tiny bit drunk so I think might missed part of the plan but I decided that I should probably go catch the assassin. That was bound to get me in Kaligby’s good books.
Turned out to be pretty easy. I caught up with him out back, told him to give up and then chased him back into the ballroom and cut him down when he tried to escape in a puff of smoke. Only got a little gash for my trouble. While I was being heroic a bunch of Eaglardi who were disguised as bird people – honestly – made a break through the roof though somebody killed one of them.
Put a bit of a damper on the whole party while we had to explain to Kaligby that we’d just saved his life and probably deserved a reward. Of course I can be very persuasive when I try. Plus I had Merriweather’s sword. I mean the one I’d taken off the corpse we’d found in a ruined bit of the castle so that helped.
The only thing I wish I hadn’t done was suggest they use a truth spell on us. The last thing I want is another wizard poking around in my head. Not sure what the fuck I was thinking. Too much wine probably. There was a creepy-looking Linniatus wizard that was all ready to volunteer but thankfully we got some less pervy dude called Beauregarde who didn’t even cast a spell that I could see thankfully. Lucky escape there. It also turned out that Kaligby hadn’t really done much planning when he made his flying castle and just maybe had built it on an Eaglardi nest or something. Which would explain a lot. Like I said – typical arrogant wizard prick. You know he hadn’t even tried talking to them when they attacked?
To make things worse he started handing out rewards to people while sending us off somewhere private to rest but we were back in the ruined castle before he got to me! So all I got out of risking my life was a bottle of wine that went sour before I even finished it. That’s some fucking delver’s luck right there.
But Perrin was pretty sure now the Kaligby had built his castle on some Eaglardi shrine or something and then just flown off with it so at least we had some idea about what was going on. Then it was back to exploring the castle some more to see if we could find Eaglardi bones or something. Yeah – just like the ones those Tamara’s gang had looted.
We found them trying to unload onto an airship with Eaglardi trying to kill them. Perrin and Viola somehow managed to convince Tamara that she should give those bodies back and the Eaglardi that they should maybe stop just attacking for a couple of minutes so we could sort things out. And it actually worked! I mean I’d have been happy just to stay out of trouble but we managed to calm things down. Tamara unloaded all the relics and scarpered and we let the Eaglardi into the castle to take any more that were left. And that was it. No more Eaglardi attacks.
Can you guess what our reward was? Yep. A magical circlet that lets us control the flying castle as Kaligby finally died. Sorry – I said castle didn’t I. When what I really meant was a big flying rock with a pile of rubble that’s already been looted. Thanks for nothing Kaligby. You dick. I just hope it’s worth something.

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